Tomorrow, Ben goes to Children’s Hospital for day surgery. He’ll have a tiny grommet put into each eardrum, through which will be threaded an even more slender tube. He’ll also have his adenoids removed, in order to reduce blockage of his eustacian tubes.
I’ve read all the “Weekly Reader” level materials provided by the ENT’s office, as well as more detailed papers I was able to find searching the Web with medical terms. I’ve prepared Ben as best I can, explaining that we went to this hospital before, when he was a little baby. I told him that when we go, the doctor will give him some sleeping medicine with a mask, and when he is sleeping, he will fix his ears. He seems to be taking it in, noting that we’re not going to the hospital today – not yet.
But internally, and through little uncontrolled seepages, I reveal myself to be a complete wreck about it. Mostly, the going under.
I understand now the nature of my calm under pressure. I take surprises well. That’s not to say I don’t plan or research things, but given lots of time to consider bad outcomes, I have some trouble. Particularly if I have to hand off taking action to someone else.
Wish us luck. And medical competence. And calm awareness.